CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: day n' night - kid cudi.

i slept @ 1:30 a.m., woke up around 5:30 a.m. that's 4 hours?! i can't wait for the summer, the only time i don't seem to have bags around my eyes. neways, today was the first day back from spring break. it wasn't bad, surprisingly. i actually didn't fall asleep in espanol class today, so that's an improvement. today in 7th period, me & my friend were talking and we came up with 2 options.

A.) work.
B.) talk.

we talked. & now i have more homework, yay. see i don't get why we always make stupid choices, but whatever fits the moment, right?

also, my contract for my phone FINALLY ends this week! i'm excited. it took me so long to figure out what phone i wanted. [i have t-mobile.] i kept thinking sidekick lx for the longest time, but it no longer attracts me. then i went through this whole 'i want a g1' phase, but i played around with the phone & didn't like it. too bulky for me. so finally, i have decided to go with something less risky, the blackberry curve.! my dad has one, so i've had the past year to get to play around with his. it's pretty nice, better than my current phone definitly. so yea, new phone + new # soon. switching #'s is a hassle though.

&also, i had a great late night convo yesterday with an awesome friend. shout-out to her!

on guys;


on rents;


on school;


on the word 'anus' & other inappropriate things;


she pretty much says it all, my comments would be unnecessary. bahah.

-s.

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: secret - max morgan.
inky confession ----> not everyone is my friend. they're simply just someone i know.

i get the idea of 'friends' and 'acquaintance' mixed up so much. but really, it's such a hassle to say acquaintance. . . who says that? so i just call that person my 'friend' anyways. but i should stop. it takes a bit to realize that some people aren't my friends, they're just people i know. talk to sometimes, but not my friend. why is that? it is only when the line of friends and acquaintances become clear, that i realize, why should i call this person my friend if they're not being one? that line, for me, was brought clear by an action of the person. show me that you're my friend, and i will gladly accept you into my life as someone i greatly care about.

today, someone was struck down from a 'friend' to an 'acquaintance.' it's not much of a degrading, she's always been only someone i know. never been a friend to me. i actually try and put forth the effort, but she only responds in ways that show me she does not care whatsoever. i can only hope one day that we will get to know each other. you know how when a friend criticizes you, you don't feel offended because they're only trying to help you? well now, it upsets me to know that her 'constructive' criticism is just plain criticism and not friendly at all. because she is not my friend.

+ ART UPDATE;
i started a new art competition! not clear on the details, but it's for washington d.c. i think?


i'm going to do a painting of that. ^ [it's my fist.]
the theme is hope. even though there's schoolbooks in the bg, it doesn't relate to my art. just decided to have books in the bg for the 'mood' of the picture. the main focus is on my fist. clearly it displays HOPE for all to see.

hopefully it turns out as expected. this isn't the best idea, but i was informed last minute of this contest so i had only a couple of days to try and figure out what to do.

-s.

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: ice - lights.
inky confession ----> sometimes, changes make me sad.

lights is so amazing. her song i'm listening to relates so much. it reminds me of a friend. this friend was once someone i truly cared about, to a full extent. i kept their best interests at heart, i tried to keep up with them. despite all this, they turned to 'ice' and pushed me away. i don't think we'll ever regain our friendship.

i've tried to ignore this for the longest time, but as i was myspacing around, i couldn't help but notice that people CHANGE. majorly. and what's sad is, some people i know have changed so much from the person they used to be, to the point where it affects our friendship. i have had many 'best friends' that i thought i would be close to for forever. it never happened. growing apart sucks. but i think the major reason is because of change. sometimes people change too fast for us to accept it. instead of going along with the new them, they leave us behind and move on.

even i have to admit, i've changed alot. just in the way i speak or think, there's a pretty drastic difference. here's an old myspace myssage i found;

From: ||♥|| SHAINA
Date: Dec 21 2006 3:36 PM


haha
HI!! :)
my parents think im crazy cause i dont like to sleep until in the morning... O:-)
wuts up??

photoshop done downloading?! >:D

alright, that was me talking in 'o6.
&as far as i remember, i have never wrote 'what' as 'wut'. but reading back on all those messages, apparently i did. i also wrote 'you' as 'u', which i still can't believe i did. really, i do not recall any of these changes, but i must've just decided one day to never write 'wut' or 'u' again.

have i changed? i've always wondered if i have. it's just harder to notice changes on yourself than a friend noticing. hopefully my changes haven't affected those around me that i care about. if i ever do change, &i'm somewhat leaving you behind, knock me out ot it. give me a wakeup call, & tell me to snap out of it. i'm pretty sure i won't forget the person i really am.

-s.

HELLO, I'M SHAINA.
i also go by shay or quill. or anything else?!

wow, i can't believe i'm finally starting this blog. i've actually been thinking of doing one since forever, but i've never had the guts to. i guess the idea of expressing your feelings and what's on your mind to the world is just hard for me. it's probably because i care. what if people don't read it? what if they don't like what i have to say? or make rude or unnecessary comments? i really shouldn't care, as alot of people would say. but truth is, the reason i write is for feedback. opinions. whatever.

call me crazy, but it's now 2:42 am. it's friday, the last day of my spring break. or actually, it's saturday morning. how refreshing, i guess. as to why i'm up at this time writing, it's because i have nothing better to do. writing is super special to me. words are super special. music=words. now that's true impact.

k i know for sure i'm probably getting boring by now. seriously, this is what i do at [almost 3] in the morning. i have GOT to get a life?! nah, i have one, and love the way things are at the moment.

um, i went to the mall today. & finally got another pair of jeans i've been wanting, but could never get my hands on. and then i got some more stuff for the spring. what's funny was that i went to the candy shop in the mall, and spent like a whole 10 bucks just on candy. haha, i have such a sweettooth.

what else, what else?! dunno, not much. if you actually took time to read this "inky confession", then thanks! just so you know, all my future "inky confessions" may as well be as boring as this one. so get used to it or something. if you actually like this, then keep tabs on it?! i promise i'll write alotalot. <3

-s.