I've been feeling conflicted these past few days. It's hard to see through the fog, my head has been leading me in all sorts of directions. But in the end, I know there's only one real path. I still can't figure out which though. I think I know something for fact, then the past drags me away again. I can't make up my mind. I hate this feeling. I hate pondering things. I hate the past tugging on me.The past is nothing but a mindtrick, a game. It should just leave me alone.

So I've been going to school at noon for the past few days. Then school ends at 2:15, so it's just like 2 hours of school. Same goes with tomorrow, but tomorrow's the last day of it. I should be happy about the whole situation, but content is the greatest I'm feeling. I am however enjoying the mornings I'm spending with friends. School being only 2 hours long makes life so much easier.


^ just wow.
he claims karma hates him. i don't see why not.
other than the obvious, i must say there is a bright side to him.
no really, there is. i think.

-s.

new things. don't know what finally triggered the sudden changes. boredom, maybe? or maybe it was time i finally needed it. considering the amount of people who have ditched myspace for facebook, or have kept convincing me to get one; i am ashamed to say i have caved under the peer pressure. whatever.

oh, and i've officially grown out of my old aim name. people used to ask me about the reason of my name. and i wouldn't even be able to answer.

add my aim; perfeqt phoenixquill


symptoms of boredom. yes, i know. we are amazing.

also, i just had to add this.


-s.

i wish everyone could take a step back and view through the eyes of the innocent.
one's vision is greatly biased, greatly damaged.
and for this reason, one suffers.

gossip has revealed another side of itself today. the side everyone has feared, tried to stay away from. because for once, being inside the actual firepit is like hell, rather than rimming the edges of it. gossipers are silently feeding off the fire for their own entertainment. sure, they can talk. but is it really necessary to add fuel to the pit.

perspective. it keeps our sanity.
i hope that people can gain some.

fck it all.

-s.

I'm on limited time, the piece is due sometime this week. Can I finish this fast? Either way, it will be rushed.

So I've finally begun the official painting process. Already, my room's been converted into a hellhole an artist's haven. Good thing the turpentine is unscented or I'd be unconscious from fumes by now.

current w.i.p for ''hope''; my latest composition for a contest.

sketch on 20'' x 16'' canvas.



^ click on picture for fullsize.

CURRENTLY LISTENING TO: exploration of space - cosmic gate
inky confession ----> friendships are harder to keep than relationships.

in friendships, you are not obligated to spend time with that person. you choose to. in relationships, you know something is there to maintain, to take care of and not let go of. that being said, it's easy to forget that friendships are just as fragile as any relationship, if not harder. friendships have to be worked on. if that person is someone you truly care about, then you better put in effort. distance, unlike a breakup, is not something that you can end on good terms. with every step back, the gap grows. feelings of emptiness will attach to the memories.

we all hate it. or at least i do. the worst part of the whole situation is when reality hits, you realize that not only have you grown apart, you have already lost that person. it's that whole feeling of realization. looking at something that once was can really put things into perspective. sometimes i would ask myself, how did this happen? the last time i spoke to that person, what made that my last? i wish i knew the answer. is it my fault or theirs. or is it time's fault. i'm just angry at myself for letting it all happen. i feel like such a naive, ignorant girl who expects the world's happenings to go her way. a girl who thinks that some things are unfair in life. a girl who thought she could actually do something about it. but she is wrong. when you realize you have distanced from the person you've always told yourself you never would, you know that it's time for a reality check. while you may be comfortable with the current situation, life is never at a standstill. it won't wait. telling someone that you'll never distance from them isn't worth it. especially if you know things like that are unexpected and unavoidable. i miss missing you.

-s.

have a happy birthday love.



i love you girly.

before this all goes out, the guy below is an awesome friend.
but guys will always be guys, right.

after talking to him about something that made me sad;


in the middle of a convo;


looking at these makes me laugh. it just reminds me how girls and guys are so different in a way, but then we rely on each other to function in life. good friends, can't live without them.

oh, speaking of which, today my friend told me this quote. it's corny, but super cute.

"they say your heart's supposed to be in the center of your body. but our hearts are on the left, so they're not always right.''

isn't that cute?! maybe because it's my first time hearing it. so tonight's my mellow friday night where i'm just chilling at home and watching old episodes of laguna beach and eating insanely. i should go out more, but i'd always rather stay and chill at home.

-s.

happy april fools day.
hope everyone had a good one.

even after having my guard up, i ended up being punked today. nice one, ihy alex.

but moving onto the highlight of my april fools day, was the joke played onto a teacher of mine. i walked into 1st period and found the teacher's office filled SOLID from head to toe, with newspapers. crumpled, stacked, ripped, just every thing you could imagine. there was no space left to walk to, it was just a solid wall of paper, no possible way of entering the office. i started laughing after realizing that the teacher had just gotten pranked on. she wasn't happy though. not happy at all. so we spent the whole period bringing trash bins/recycle bins in and out of the room, trying to clear things up. despite her obvious annoyance, we clearly found it entertaining. the prankers must've had alot of time on their hands. alot. i mean, seriously. it would take me months to stock up on that amount of newspapers! insanee.

also, i've heard about the april fools day virus?! it's just making me paranoid and annoyed.

shout-out to kim! she's lovely, what more can i say. amazing friend, amazing person.

so i made this for her during christmas! it's like april now. got a problem?


-s.