Good that I'm releasing all my overwhelming energy onto my art. Maybe I'll actually get stuff done this time.

I can't really tell what's right lately. Just wish I had someone there to tell me what to do. Tell me the stuff I want to hear. Just had a weird dream last night that made me so disappointed to wake up and realize it wasn't real. I know I'm going through this crazy denial thing. I don't really do anything either, afraid of making a mistake or doing something stupid. I can tell I've been pushing many things important to me, such as friends and others away from me. All this so I can figure out what I want. Where I'm going, what to do, etc. Who am I kidding, though? I can't do this by myself.

Feeling so lost, and this isn't the beginning of it. Been quite some time now. Don't know what's right or wrong. Don't know what's good for me or not, or what I should be doing rather than what I am doing. Don't know anything these days.